Three children playing with fairy lights on the floor of…

Three children playing with fairy lights on the floor of their room - CV Cisnadie, Romania

Three years ago SOS Children's Villages Romania launched a family strengthening programme in the capital Bucharest. Up to now the programme has assisted over 200 children in 60 families. This is a story of two families who not only benefited from the programme, but also helped others in need of assistance.

Staying together and giving back

On the outskirts of Bucharest, in the slumbers of sector one, Fortuna had long forgotten to spin her wheel upwards. Drowning in trash and rubble, many a family had lost hope in a better tomorrow fighting for mere survival day by day. In 2004 SOS Children's Villages slowly began pushing Fortuna's rusty wheel forward.

Helped family become helpers

In her late thirties, Alina appears older than she really is. Nine childbirths and eighteen years under the leaking roof of her two-room home wrinkled the face and soul of this mother. Her husband, Nicolae, with four classes of primary school as education, is bent under the strain of manual labour which he performs for a poor day's wage in the heat and in the cold. Nicolae and Alina Davidescu* have nine children aged one to 17.

Leaky roofs above, rock bottom below

For a very long time the family has lived off the miserable salaries Nicolae would bring home. Alina took care of the children and the shabby household. The rusty stove was the only source of heat but only in the freezing months. They had to save the low amount of wood gathered during the summer.

One day, the roof in one of the rooms cracked making it impossible for the children to sleep and do their homework there any longer. The few young Davidescus who did attend school stopped going relieved for a moment that the verbal abuse and contempt from their peers had come to an end. The girls much rather stayed at home helping their mother with the housework, while the boys left the house at the crack of dawn looking for work together with their father.

The first encounter

SOS Children's Villages first came into the life of the Davidescus in 2004 through the recommendation of the Child Protection Department of Bucharest's Sector 1. "The situation we encountered was alarming," says Marcela, the programme's coordinator. "Eight children, the father and the then pregnant mother all cramped in one room covered in dirt.

Among their peers, the children were stigmatized as unworthy because of being poor. None of the school-age children attended school. Their last results were very poor. The smaller ones didn't go to kindergarten. Other children stayed away from the Davidescus or made abusive remarks regarding their dirty smelly clothes. The critical family immediately became beneficiary of the family strengthening programme.

Basic needs first

"We began with material support of food and hygienic supplies and started counselling for the parents," continues Marcela. "We managed to convince the father not to take the boys with him to work anymore and agreed to send them back to school in a short time. Through donations we supplied them with second hand clothes and footwear. The two family doctors who are partners in the programme performed medical checks and ensured the necessary medications for the ones who needed them."

Marcela and Adina, the second social worker of the programme, advised and assisted Nicolae with finding a new job through the local employment agency. Shortly after, he was employed as a night guard in a local company. This brought an unexpected problem to the troubled family. Nicolae would come home in the mornings tired, so the children had to tiptoe around the one room and the small yard to let their father have his rest. Something had to be done about that second room. But, funds were short.

New roof, new hope

In agreement with Nicolae and Alina, Marcela invited a popular magazine to do a story on the Davidescus. As a result, people immediately started to offer assistance. One local construction company provided material for mending the ceiling and improving the conditions in general. By autumn of 2004, the Davidescus had their home in good shape. "When we visited them after the construction was finished, we found the home in a completely new light," says Marcela. "They have cleaned and varnished the rooms, the place looked like a real home, modest, but a home."

That autumn all the school-going Davidescus went back to class with new books from the school and stationery provided through donations. The younger ones were enrolled in a state kindergarten through a social assistance programme for the poor of which the parents had never heard before. "Completing two big goals didn't mean that the case was closed. Apart from the regular evaluations, through the counselling we began teaching them to economize their income," continues Marcela.

Savings buy a washing machine

At that time, the food and hygienic packages were replaced with social tickets in the value of 35 lei [app. ten Euros] which the beneficiaries could exchange at one supermarket chain. "We were concerned that the beneficiaries, not just the Davidescus, would not use the tickets properly, so at first we asked for the receipts or accompanied them in their shopping. We taught them to buy their monthly supplies in bulk and pointed to discounted items. That way they could make savings and later purchase an item of greater need."

For the Davidescus an item of greater need was a washing machine. For years Alina did the laundry by hand in the freezing outdoors often assisted by her older daughters. In one year's time, with enough savings the Davidescus could afford their very own washing machine. "Her ninth and youngest was just a baby then," remembers Marcela. "The look of happiness on Alina's face when she saw the washing machine being installed I will never forget."

Back on their feet

During 2006, the Davidescus showed good signs of being back on their feet. The eldest boy finished primary school and found a steady job making an additional contribution to the family budget. "His options are still limited with the education he has, but he still has much better chances of finding better work than manual labour," explains Marcela.

Just about that time the family doctor began discussing family planning with Nicolae and Alina. Despite his efforts and the reality they were aware of, both Nicolae and Alina refused the suggested use of birth control for religious reasons. "Of course, we all respected their decision, but asked Alina to let her older girls attend family planning counselling. Surprisingly, she did and even contributed positively by talking to them at home," says Marcela.

Extending a helping hand

Near the end of 2006, the Davidescus filled in a self-evaluation questionnaire where they stated their opinion of the programme. "We read nothing but positive things," adds Marcela with a smile. "They stated how the programme helped them build self-confidence, taught them how to claim their rights and find their way in the complicated system. They were thankful immensely and at the end wrote that they feel they can carry on by themselves and were willing to help others who go through similar problems like theirs."

The Davidescus' file was closed in December 2006. Still that one note at the end remained in Marcela's mind. "One Friday in March 2007 I got a call from the Child Protection Department asking for help for one single mother who had just given birth to her fourth child. She wanted to abandon her child at the hospital and was considering finding alternative care for the remaining three. She told them she could not care for three children and a baby in the dirty shabby shack she was living in."

Knowing the relatively stable financial situation of this single mother, the social workers were certain that she would never abandon her children. But, they were afraid that she was going through a difficult postpartum period in which she could make a decision she'd later regret.

Marcela hung up the phone promising to call back and went to visit the Davidescus. "I explained the case and before I even asked for their help, they offered to go over to her house to clean it top to bottom, mend whatever needs mending and wash the sheets and blankets." The next day the entire family was there. They spent the weekend working hard, managing to bring the woman's house in a decent order.

When the mother got out of the hospital she couldn't believe her eyes. "She was crying with joy," says Marcela. "She said that what the Davidescus had done gave her hope and that she was not going to give up her children. Alina and Nicolae kept contact with her and began teaching her what we taught them. They helped her with applications for child welfare, baby registration, family doctors, pre-school education, economizing..."

Helped become helpers

The mother of four didn't become part of the family strengthening programme, yet still benefited from it. "The Davidescu case is not an exception," explains Marcela. "Wherever possible, we try to involve our past and present beneficiaries in helping other families in need in their surroundings. We can't help feeling proud for what we have achieved directly, but feel even prouder when we see the further reach of the programme."

A quarter of Romania's 22-million population lives below the poverty line**, with a large number of families in high risk of abandoning their children. The journey ahead is a long one to walk, but it'll sure be faster when the right steps are multiplying.

Like in many families in the programme, the older boys worked with the father and the girls helped the mother with the household. None went to school. "The first thing we did when they became beneficiaries was to convince Radu and Maria to let the children go back to school," says Marcela. "The school books for primary education are given by the state free of charge. We helped with stationary and second-hand clothes." The family also received monthly value tickets for food and hygienic supplies and regular counselling.

"We urged Radu and Maria to take the children to one of the family doctors we're cooperating with," continues Marcela. "He did thorough check-ups and prescribed treatments for several of the children. Together we managed to procure the necessary medicaments free of charge and register the children for the monthly benefit of 25 lei [app. seven Euros] provided to each child in Romania."

Ensuring decent conditions

"It was obvious we had to do something about Radu's working conditions since on the one hand he needed to continue working and bring the sole income of the family, but on the other hand the dirty room was a serious threat to the children's health." Due to lack of funds, Marcela and Adina began a small fundraising campaign by sending letters to different companies asking for help in kind to assist Radu in making a small workshop.

After a short time, the owner of a local construction warehouse offered material and manpower for Radu's workshop. "They used part of the front yard and one supporting wall of the house to erect a workshop. They even donated him some additional tools which he could use and once the owner saw his crafty works he told Radu he'd recommend him to his clients."

Giving back

With the children back to school and Radu's workshop in place, the Ciobanus were slowly getting back on their feet, but will remain in the programme until all goals set in the mutually agreed family development plan are achieved. "Radu and Maria were deeply grateful for the assistance and followed every given instruction. Shyly, Radu offered his skills for any matter we might need in the future," says Marcela.

Little did Radu know that just a few blocks away lived a family whose ordeals kept them in desperation for years. The torment of the Dinu family began in the year 2000 with the birth of their third son. Once a modest, middle-class family, the coming of the newborn turned their life around in the worst possible way.